Do Not Let Failure Define You
By: Brian Hoeflinger, MD
September 21, 2026 | #95
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Disclaimer: Opinions are my own. Not medical advice.
Medical Trivia of the Week
Which of your senses is most directly wired to the parts of your brain that handle memory and emotion? (the correct answer is at the end of this email)
- A) Sight
- B) Hearing
- C) Smell
- D) Touch
I Failed... Here's What I Learned
I did not finish my half Ironman race yesterday (Ironman 70.3 Michigan). Hard to admit because it's the first time in my life that I've not finished something that I have started. My first feeling was that of failure because all I could see was the thousands of other people pushing forward in the cold water while I was being shuttled back to shore by boat. On top of that, the feeling of embarrassment as crowds of spectators on shore watched me return to land. Tough emotions to deal with as an Ironman participant. But I was able to reflect and here are four lessons that I have learned from this experience.
Lesson 1: You Need to Know and Accept Your Limits
I could tell immediately that something was wrong. Everyone needs to know their limit. I've known this as a neurosurgeon and now I know it as an athlete. My body was telling me to stop and my gut feeling said the same. So I stopped. I swam to a volunteer on a kayak and hung on. The person asked if I was ok and I answered yes. I then said that I think I need to quit. She said, "Are you sure that you want to quit because I'll have to call a rescue boat over?" I hesitated for a moment and then said, "Yes." Better to stop and live to fight another day than to keep going and have something irretrievable happen. Tough decisions aren't easy but must be made when necessary.
Lesson 2: You Have to Put in the Time and Effort to Accomplish Tough Things in Life
You can't wing an Ironman race. You see, for a multitude of reasons, I only practiced swimming 3-4 short times in our warm backyard pool. I did not do my usual long swims in open water or lap pool training as I have in the past and it cost me the race. You see, I dislocated my right shoulder 3 months ago and I couldn't swim for 2 months. I trained appropriately with biking and running but without swim practice I was doomed. I knew better but thought since I was a good swimmer at baseline that I could just wing it. I was wrong. There are no shortcuts in life. If you want to succeed at something, you have to put in the time and effort.
Lesson 3: Learn and Be Motivated from Your Failures
So what to do now? I could dwell on the fact that I quit the race and I could let it crush my confidence and self-esteem moving forward. Or I can learn from it and commit to doing better next time. I have completed two Ironman races in the past so it's not just about finishing a race. It's about learning from the experience and coming out stronger on the other side. I need to get out of my own pity party and now focus on what I can do better next time. Every hardship in life should be used to create something better in your own life or for someone else's life.
Lesson 4: Never Be Embarrassed for Trying
I showed up. Not everyone can say that. Even though I didn't finish the swim, I tried and did my best. That is all anyone can ask of you, including yourself. At first, I felt a little embarrassed as people stared at me coming back to shore. But I quickly realized that I had nothing to feel embarrassed about. I trained the best that I could with my given circumstances, I showed up to the race, and I tried my best. Looking at it that way, I held my head up and made my way off of the course.
What Actually Defines Me
Having reflected on all of this, I am more determined than ever to take this setback, which is now in the past, and turn it into something greater and more purposeful for the future. I know better than to believe that a race defines me whether I finished or not. What does define me is how I respond moving forward. For me, I will not let my ego get in the way. I have nothing to prove. I am going to learn from this experience of poor planning and training and turn it into something even greater in the future. Maybe even another race in the future for charity through the Ironman Foundation. I want to use my privilege to be able to physically compete in such a race towards the benefit of others. After all, that's what I believe life is truly about: Serving a purpose greater than yourself.
Impactful Quote of the Week
"Fall seven times, stand up eight."
- Japanese proverb
All my best,
Brian Hoeflinger
P.S. - Please reply to this email and let me know a time failure motivated you to do even better. I strive to read and reply to as many as I can.
Medical Trivia Answer:
The correct answer is C) Smell
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